"A Praying Life" (chapter 21)

A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World
By Paul E. Miller

“Unanswered Prayer: Understanding the Patterns of the Story” - Chapter 21

Disappointment

• Having specific prayers that are not answered in the way that we desire or expect is a challenge to our faith.
• Prayer makes us more dependent and more vulnerable to disappointment.
• The problem, however, is not with God but with our own expectations and the gap between those expectations and the story that God is weaving.

In the Desert

• Living in the gap between expectation and reality can be like living in a spiritual desert.
• Every part of our being wants to close the gap between hope and reality.
• Trying to close the gap and escape the desert leads to either denial, determination, or despair.

Denial

• Denial is the approach we take when we are filled with hope but we are in self-denial about the reality of the situation.
• So, we close the gap between hope and reality by envisioning unreality.
• We fail to come to grips with the true nature of the situation. We think it is not happening or it must be some mistake. But living in unreality doesn’t lead to spiritual maturity.

Determination

• Some try to close the gap between hope and reality with sheer determination of will.
  You have faced enormous obstacles before and overcome them, and you are going to do the same with this.
• You invest energy, money, time, resources into fixing the problem.
• You seek to become the answer to your own prayer request.
• But this often adds to the suffering.

Despair

• Despair is the result of losing hope.
• People close the gap between hope and reality by downgrading their hope to match the reality of the situation.
• Stopping hoping is a way to minimize the hurt.
• Despair removes the tension between hope and reality, but it leads to cynicism, which kills the soul.

Back to the Desert

• Denial, determination, despair—these are not the way to live as people of faith.
  People of faith live in the desert—in the gap between hope and the present reality.
• Abraham “in hope believed against hope” (Rom. 4:18).
• Abraham did not ignore reality, but he trusted and hoped in God and his promises.

Life in the Desert

• The hardest part of being in the desert is that there is no way out. You don’t know when it will end. There is no relief in sight.
• God in his wisdom customizes deserts for each of us.
• God led Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Israel, David, etc. into, through, and then out of the desert.
• Jesus walked through the desert for us looking to the joy set before him.
• Feeling like the Father has turned his face against you is the heart of the desert experience.
• It’s very tempting to survive the desert by taking the bread of bitterness offered by Satan—to maintain a wry, cynical detachment from life, finding a perverse enjoyment in mocking those who still have hope.
• But refusing Satan and trusting God is the path Jesus took, and so should we.

Thriving in the Desert

• God takes everyone he loves through a desert.
• It is his cure for our wandering hearts, restlessly searching for a new Eden.
  
  • He humbles us and breaks our will and our self-sufficiency.
  • He kills off our idols.
  • He leads us to helplessness that is so crucial to the spirit of prayer.
  • Suffering burns away the false selves created by cynicism, pride, or lust.
  • You stop caring about what people think of you.
  • The desert is God’s best hope for the creation of an authentic self.
  • Desert life sanctifies you. You don’t realize you are changing, but after a while you are different.
  • Things that used to be important no longer matter.
  • In the desert, you learn your real thirsts – what really matters.
  • The desert becomes a window to the heart of God. He gets our attention in the desert.
    You cry out to God so long and so often that it cuts a deep channel of communication between you and God.
  • Without realizing it, you have learned to pray continuously.
  • The best gift of the desert is God’s presence.

Desert Blossoms

• In the desert, God humbles us and makes us more like his Son.
• Unexpected outcomes and blessings come out of trials like desert blossoms.
• Our lives can take unexpected turns and end up in much better places in the end because of the routes through the desert.

Kept from Harm

• When we don’t receive what we pray for or what we desire, it doesn’t mean that God isn’t acting on our behalf.
• Rather, he’s weaving his story.
• “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in thanksgiving” (Col. 4:2).
• Watchfulness alerts us to the unfolding drama in the present.
• It looks for God’s present work as it unfolds into future grace.
• Watch for the story God is weaving in your life.
• Don’t leave the desert, until God leads you out of it.
• “The best is yet to come.”